Aligning schedules, dividing holidays, shuttling the kids between homes – joint custody is challenging. This is particularly true when marriages do not end amicably.
As Psychology Today explains, most children benefit from having both parents in their lives, but when former spouses cannot cooperate, it causes unnecessary stress for kids. Although there is no one-size-fits-all formula for co-parenting, these six rules can help you keep the peace:
- Do not badmouth your ex in front of the kids;
- Focus on the child’s best interests;
- Be realistic;
- Customize your arrangement for each child;
- Remember: A bad ex is not necessarily a bad parent;
- And communicate.
If you have questions about child support, child custody, or other family law matters, contact the Law Offices of Michael M. Raheb, P.A. Mr. Raheb is a child custody attorney in Naples who can demystify the divorce process and represent your interests.
Call 866-949-0888 to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation. You can also visit USAttorneys.com to learn more about divorce procedures in Florida.
Here are six rules for successful co-parenting:
Rule 1: Do Not Badmouth Your Ex in Front of the Kids
Badmouthing your ex not only incites conflict, but it also puts pressure on your children. If you need to vent, consult a trusted friend, family member or counselor.
Rule 2: Focus on the Child’s Best Interests
Divorce comes with a long list of personal, financial and administrative decisions. How will you and your ex divide assets? Will one spouse pay child support? In the midst of these life-changing matters, it can be easy to forget about your child’s interests. When you feel the urge to argue with your ex, remember that it could negatively affect your kids – so take the high road.
There might be other things that you could do to help you when it comes to your kids, for example, you might decide that the best thing to do is get a nanny or an au pair. A lot more people are getting au pairs to help with their children, as this also allows for young people to experience a new country as well as earn a bit of pocket money. If you are thinking of becoming an au pair though then you might want to take a look at something like this Cultural Care Au Pair to give you a better idea of how you can apply and what would be offered to you.
Rule 3: Be Realistic
When creating a parenting plan, it is important to be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Although spending time with the children is important, you also have work and complete other obligations. Do not overcommit yourself; this can lead to schedule conflicts with your ex and disappointment for your children.
Rule 4: Customize Your Arrangement for Each Child
No two children are exactly the same. It is important that you consider your children’s ages, interests and activities when creating a custody arrangement. A template model may be a good starting point, but customizing your plan will allow you to include everybody’s social, developmental, career, medical and academic needs.
Rule 5: Remember: A Bad Ex Is Not Necessarily a Bad Parent
While your ex may not have been the best spouse, that does not make him or her a bad parent. The relationship between couples is not the same as that between parents and children. You should make a concerted effort to help your ex form a healthy relationship with the children.
Rule 6: Communicate
Communication is the foundation of successful co-parenting. However, you should never ask your children to deliver messages to your former spouse. If you have trouble talking with your ex, try to communicate via text or email whenever possible.
If you are facing divorce in Florida, contact the Law Offices of Michael M. Raheb, P.A. Mr. Raheb is a Naples child custody lawyer who can answer your questions related to child custody, alimony, asset division and prenuptial agreements. Call 866-949-0888 to schedule a free consultation.